Ask Char: "How can I unwind without alcohol?"

ASK CHAR: “I don’t know how to relax at the end of the day. I start out drinking one glass of wine and the glass turns into a bottle. I know this isn’t good or even working for me, but what can I do?”

Dear reader,

This is such a common question, especially from women, and I used to come up against this as well. I would love coming home to my glass of wine after a hard day’s work, but at a certain point I outgrew this ritual, and it sounds like you are too. It just didn’t feel like the thing to do anymore.

Alcohol is a suppressant. It is like putting a lid on pot of boiling water. You may not see the steam anymore but it’s there, building up! Alcohol doesn’t get to the root cause of what’s going on.

Our bodies are so smart and are always seeking balance, so it makes perfect sense that we would self-medicate our selves with a suppressant when we are filled with anxiety and tension. But if you want to heal, then you have to look deeper into what is causing the anxiety.

In the end, wellness is the ability to cope with life. I have found much better ways to cope with stress than alcohol.

First, let’s start with The Witching Hour. When my son was a little baby, I noticed that at 5PM, he would start to lose it. Anyone who has a baby knows this. Their tiny nervous systems are done for the day. They have had all they can take, so they cry and get fussy. They can no longer contain their energy. They are over stimulated and tired.

This sounds corny as hell, but that little baby is inside you. 5PM is toddy time, right? At the PaleoFx conference this past weekend, I learned that our nervous systems are processing up to 400,000,000 bits of information in any given moment! So please have some compassion for yourself.

Here are some other things to consider that can help stabilize your nervous system and energy levels during the day, so when 5PM rolls around, you feel like you can handle it!

#1 Go to bed as close to 9PM as possible. I know, no one wants to hear that. It sucks, but it’s the truth. Move with the sun as often as possible. This means when the sun goes down, so do you.

#2 Find time to walk. Even just 30 minutes will do the trick. Walking relieves stress, although almost any movement will do. Breathing gives your liver an internal massage, allowing it to clear stress hormones much more efficiently, and you will feel calmer. Not to mention that studies have shown that the side-to-side movement of our eyes, scanning the ground when we walk, allows our brain to process the events of the day.

#3 What did you eat for breakfast? Remember that alcohol is a sugar. If you start your day with carbohydrates like toast, cereal, orange juice, oatmeal, etc, then you will crave sugar later in the day and that glass of wine is going to look really, really good. Set yourself up for success by having protein and fat for breakfast. Sausage, eggs, butter and bacon will fuel your brain with steady, strong energy.

It is best to avoid the blood sugar rollercoaster at all costs! I mean, think about it, once you get on a roller coaster, you can’t get off, right? So don’t get on.

#4 Eat a serving of animal protein at every meal. The fattier the better. This simple intervention stabilizes blood sugar levels better than anything I have ever seen, decreasing the need for sugar, particularly in the form of alcohol.

I happen to love this recipe for Bangin' Liver for adding more rich, flavorful protein to my diet.

#5 Find your herbal allies. There is a category of herbs called nervines. These help to calm and restore nervous system function in the face of stress. These are some of my favorites:

Passion flower - great for circular, obsessive thought patterns

Kava – a skeletal muscle relaxant that calms the body to calm the mind.

Chamomile – great for winey people (you know who you are)

California poppy – anxiety associated with nerve pain

Schisandra – an herb of emotional containment; fantastic for leaky people who sweat when stressed, cry a lot, and are overly expressive

Milky oats – a very gentle way to restore and calm a tired nervous system

While I don’t like talking about herbs in little sound bites, that’s the best I can do for now! Herbs are an amazing way to bring your best self forward. If they haven’t made it into your life, you’re missing out! Remember that herbs are not just something you take before bed when you want to calm down, but are used to keep the nervous system in balance all day long. To find more in-depth information about applying herbal medicine to your life, click here!

#6 Consider B vitamin and magnesium supplementation. These deficiencies are rampant in our modern world. They are rapidly depleted by stress and our food supply is deficient as well. Eating liver once per week and leafy greens daily will be supportive here. I like Cataplex B from Standard Process. This is a supplement made from food, which is available through licensed health professionals. Natural Calm, found on the retail market, is helpful to boost magnesium intake and to relax.

Any of these suggestions will be helpful to you, but remember the power of synergy. 1+1=3. If you can do two of these things or even all six, watch out world, here you come! Wine will become a thing of the past and you will experience the freedom of vitality!

Also, don't underestimate the power of ritual. Sometimes you just need something to look forward to. For me, I enjoy a kombucha and I like Live Soda for a treat. When I really need to switch gears I make a refreshing Kava Colada!

Drink in Peace!

Love,

Charlotte

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The Upside of Being a Food Fanatic

The other day I was reading something about wellness and food, and the healthcare practitioner said, “Well, I just tell my patients not to be a fanatic about food. That’s rule number one. ”

I get where he’s coming from. I do. Some people care too little about food, and some people care too much.

But reading this triggered something in me – “don’t be a fanatic.” I guess I am sensitive to it because my family of origin has called me a fanatic. We use the word like it is a bad thing, but is it? For the sake of clarity, I decided to go look up the textbook definition of fanatic, which means:

“A person filled with excessive and single-minded zeal, especially for an extreme religious or political cause.”

It’s no coincidence that food would be associated with the same word used to describe religion and politics because food is just as controversial. In fact, I actually wrote about this in a previous blog titled Don’t Hate Me Because I Eat Meat.

And yes, being single-minded is unappealing. There is never one, right way to do anything, including eat.

But the thing is, I really like that word zeal. You know what it means? “Great energy or enthusiasm in pursuit of a cause or an objective.”

Synonyms include: passion, ardor, love, fervor, fire, avidity, devotion, enthusiasm, eagerness, keenness, appetite, relish, gusto, vigor, energy, intensity, fanaticism.

I am ZEAL.

I understand that being a fanatic has a negative connotation. Like I said, I think the single-minded nature of fanaticism is what turns people off, and that fanatics often push their agenda on to others.

Here’s what I want you to know: I have learned that sometimes the healing process asks you to become a fanatic and that’s ok.

Have you ever completed an elimination diet, where you stop eating all major food allergens, like wheat, dairy, corn and soy? That asks you to be a fanatic.

Have you ever committed to going to bed at 9PM every night? That asks you to be a fanatic.

Have you ever removed sugar and refined carbohydrates from your diet? That asks you to be a fanatic.

Have you ever paid attention to the cleaning supplies that you buy for your home? That asks you to be a fanatic.

Have you ever tried to avoid genetically modified foods? That asks you to be a fanatic.

Have you ever counted how many grams of carbohydrates you are consuming? That asks you to be a fanatic.

Have you ever tried to avoid canola oil in the prepared foods section in Whole Foods? That asks you to be a fanatic.

Have you ever tried to sit down and eat three meals per day without distractions? That asks you to be a fanatic.

I am not saying that you need to do all of these things. What I am saying is that they are noble pursuits. Committing to this level of change causes great disruption to those around you because your changing causes people to bump up against their lack of change.

Look, everyone knows not to eat the donut! But they do it anyway! If you don’t eat the donut, then, well, you’re different.

Your newfound discipline and pursuit of self-mastery will become very, very threatening to the people and systems that surround you.

I want you to be threatening because when you are full of vitality…when you are full of life, you are impossible to fuck with. When you can trust your body, you start to trust Life. You start to think. You start to see. You start to ask questions.

Claiming your vitality looks like fanaticism when the world and systems at large are doing everything possible to violate your health.

Look at this insanity:

People feel safe taking multiple pharmaceutical drugs and are scared of herbs; the plant medicine that we evolved with. We exchange something that is on the spectrum of food with thousands of years of safety for toxic drugs that are entirely new to the body.

Women schedule the birth of their babies.

We vaccinate babies who do not yet have a developed immune system.

Schools fill our children’s minds with more and more information and put them in front of computers, instead of respecting their natural creativity and allowing them to play in Nature.

Grocery stores sell packaged foods with little to no nutritional values, and with toxic ingredients that don’t do our bodies any favor whatsoever.

And we wonder why we are sick and suffer from epidemics of inflammatory diseases?

Damn straight, I am a fanatic. I am single-minded in my pursuit of vitality because I am called to be. It isn’t easy, but it’s worth it.

For thirty years I suffered with asthma that was actually caused by a dairy allergy. Then, in 2002 my vitality collapsed, landing me in the hospital. This was the precious moment I realized that if I was going to stay on this planet, I had to become a fanatic about how I was living my life. I changed everything.

In a world of moderation and distraction and excuses, when you commit yourself to something fully, you risk being called a fanatic. That is a risk that I am willing to take for my self, my family and you.

Eat in peace, like a fanatic.

Love,

Charlotte

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Why Cigarettes Are Good For You

Is it possible that our “bad habits” actually nurture us in some way? Usually there is so much shame and scrutiny about our unhealthy rituals, we don’t see how they are actually contributing to our wellbeing.

Many years ago, I was dating someone who was going through a stressful time in his life. He took up smoking American Spirits a few times per day. He was very health conscious and not a smoker when we met. As a former asthmatic, smoke is not my friend and that would have been a deal breaker in terms of the relationship. I had never even been around someone who smoked, so this was a new experience for me.

We spent a lot of time together, so when he went to smoke his cigarettes, I would go outside with him. We would sit and chat on the patio for ten to fifteen minutes. A few months passed. It wasn’t a big deal until… he stopped smoking.

I missed our time together, but it was more than that. I watched my discontent grow, and I sat with it. I didn’t just miss our conversations, I missed going outside, taking a break, and connecting with someone. I now felt true compassion for smokers. I get it!

You go outside.

You breathe.

You talk with some friends.

You bond.

You consciously relax for a few minutes.

It feels good! It feels damn good. And it’s not just about the nicotine or drug of choice because I wasn’t the one smoking. I still fondly remember those times. Most importantly, I don’t judge people who smoke. I feel for them, and I ask questions, like: How can we create healthy rituals?

Why can’t we just get up from our desks and go outside to take a break a few times a day? Do we have to have a reason or an activity associated with the break? Think about this...How do our so-called “bad habits” serve our wellbeing? They all benefit us somehow or we wouldn’t engage in the activity.

Relieving shame around our “bad habits” and looking for the wisdom can sometimes facilitate healing better than just stopping cold turkey. While guilt can point to something that needs to change, it is not a healing emotion. In the stress of the modern world, we need things during our day to look forward to.

I have a friend who worked 13-hour shifts in a restaurant, and got so fed up that only the smokers got to go outside to take breaks that she started going outside for two-minute NOT smoke breaks. Sometimes you have to go against the grain or piss off your boss to take care of yourself. It's worth it.

We need things that make us feel alive.

Parenting, for instance, has turned me into a coffee drinker. I used to be a green tea drinker (and still am). But parenting is a game changer. It is intense, and I needed a beverage to match the intensity of this new phase of my life. Tea is just too soft for what we have going on! The coffee feels good to me, just a cup or two, and I am a happier mother and wife, but most importantly, my husband and I take time to connect. We sit down and enjoy our coffee together. It is a nice way to start the day.

Human beings are wired for rituals, so much so that I think rituals and stress-relieving activities find us…our responsibility is to be co-creators in this process. I am not delusional. Smoking and drinking pots of coffee are not the answers.

Here are some of the habits I have established in my life that both facilitate my wellbeing and are enjoyable:

Daily walks.

Having a cup of tea mid-day.

Taking time to prepare and eat my meals.

Drinking a Live Soda Kombucha in the afternoon.

Bathing with my child at night.

Reading before I go to bed.

These are the things sprinkled throughout my day that nourish me. I would love to hear what nourishes you. How have you designed your life to honor your vitality and have fun in the process? Let’s learn together…and find a deep compassion for these “bad habits” we have.

Eat in Peace and Live in Peace!

Love,

Charlotte